So That's Why They Call it A Slimmer

I've been meaning to buy a pair of SPANX for awhile now. You know, the bodyshapers. I just wanted the kind that are like spandex biking shorts, not the whole shaping caboodle or anything. I recently bought a bodyshaper from T. J. Maxx, the long, shorts type. They were a cheaper alternative than a pair of SPANX, thus the reason for buying them. I figured they would do the trick.

While covering my cellulite and making my pants fit a little better is at the top of my wish list, that's ultimately not what I planned to achieve with these SPANX alternatives. I will admit to you the real reason I wanted a pair of long bodyshaping shorts: so my legs won't rub or stick together when I walk. While I do carry my excess weight fairly proportionately, I definitely have some thunder thighs. I can't walk long without chaffing and "rub burning" my inner thighs. And while I don't have anything against cowboys, I don't really enjoy walking like one.

Anyway, I tried these cheap SPANX alternatives and ended up walking "Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy Joe"-style after a few minutes because the darn things just rolled up. I mean, they practically became a second set of underwear and I had a roll line generously framing my butt and thighs. After that fiasco, I told myself to stop being frugal and go for the SPANX. I set my mind to buying a pair of SPANX, eventually.

Last night, I made a late night solo trip to Fred Meyer. Chris caught my horrible cold and I was re-stocking the medicine cabinet for him. Even though I moved in a couple months ago, I still hadn't finished organizing my closet; this was partially due to the fact that I ran out of hangers. This week Chris and I were working on cleaning the place up a little more and I decided I need to get my closet settled. So back at Fred Meyer, my handy dandy list told me I needed more hangers in addition to the cough syrup.

Once I walked through the automatic glass doors, I veered to the left, right to the clothing department. I tell you no lie, I really thought that is where I would find hangers. While I didn't find any empty hangers, I did pick up a shirt and sweater that conveniently came with their own respective hangers! I promptly added them to my basket (but left them in the car upon my arrival home as I didn't want to hear complaining that I was shopping for unnecessary clothes while Chris was suffering with the cold I gave him and he didn't even have any medicine, blah, blah, blah...).

After I did the full rounds and figured out that hangers are actually on the opposite side of Fred Meyer in the storage section, I started to move along. On my way into the next department I was distracted by an adorable black and white straw hat. Don't worry. I gently reminded myself that it has been snowing outside lately, I'm not going to the racetrack anytime soon, and I wouldn't want to pack it on vacation even if it is to Hawaii because it would just get smashed. (On second thought, Chris and I did talk about going to the racetrack. Maybe I should go back and buy it, even if I would be the only one wearing a giant hat. And I would look ridiculous, considering people don't typically wear straw hats to the racetrack for everyday races. Okay, you win, I won't buy it. Until I can think of a better excuse.)

Back at the store, after I talked myself out of the lovely little hat, I continued to move along and was soon confronted in the aisle by ASSETS. The packaging reminded me that I had indeed been meaning to buy a pair of SPANX. I figured that considering I never remember to do just that, and that I didn't know when the next opportunity may present itself, I should just buy these. They were a lower price alternative, but not too low in price that I didn't expect them to deliver results.

I analyzed my options and decided that I might as well go with the high-waisted shorts option rather than the medium rise. After all, my tummy needs smoothing and I wouldn't have to worry about them rolling down. So I picked up the green package and consulted with the back on which size to choose. Height: 5' even, though I always try to cop to a couple more inches. I figured I should be honest to get the best fit for my little splurge. Okay, next. Weight: that's a little rude don't you think? I've only just met you, little green cardboard box of judgment. Alright: just under 200 pounds. I guess that makes me a size: off the chart! What are you telling me? These are not going to fit you, unless you lose 10 pounds or grow an inch? How can you be so fat; is that even possible? Skip the next few meals? You are a horribly deformed freak? Reluctantly, I opted for the size that is the biggest a 5' person should be, or at least according to ASSETS anyway.

Once I pulled the shaper out of the bag, I realized I should be fine. They were like nylons or tights, so I could just stretch them out. Make it work, as Tim Gunn would say. I went into the bathroom and put one foot in. My right leg was immediately encased like a little sausage. Make it work. Pull. Stretch. Breathe. Pull. More. More. Breathe. Shimmy. Shimmy. Jump. Phew. I did it! I officially got my new little buddies on. So far I don't have any complaints, but I'm glad I didn't get the bigger size. These come all the way up to my boobs. I didn't need the same size as somebody even a centimeter taller. And one other complaint, that I will have to add about 20 minutes to my routine in the morning if I'm planning on wearing a skirt to get these suckers on. But as long as the unattractive and painful rub rash on my inner thighs is gone, it's much worth it. And besides, with all the sweating I did just putting these ASSETS on, I'm definitely going to lose weight. So that's why they call it a slimmer.

Eventually, I Will Get with the Program

Okay, I know I said I was going to start writing more now that I have my computer hooked up. I probably can't get away with the excuse that our Internet has been acting up, because of course, I could have at least written and posted later. And that excuse probably flies with you even less because I was in fact at my parents' house for three nights, where the Internet was working just fine. But I'm willing to bet, you will allow the excuse that my family led to my unproductive behavior. Who wouldn't agree that family has the ability to take you completely off track? Whatever your goal: cleaning, organizing, writing, weight loss, job hunting, wedding planning, family always wants to help, but usually only makes it worse. If you don't agree, then you are one lucky duck! (Even as I type this my cat has begun to walk over my keyboard, making this post mighty tricky.)

I will get with the program soon. Really not much exciting has happened anyway. Here is a quick overview: Chris and I have cleaned the place up minimally, but it's starting to come together nicely. The good news is that I have found my camera and even the cable, so as soon as I unpack the rest of my car, I can finally post a few pictures.

On Saturday, Chris and I met with the caterer at the wedding location. It was a very quick consultation. We just went over the basics: how many people will come? buffet or not? food allergies or preferences? It will be about 85 people, buffet style, and we have no really prefernces on food except that Chris' step-sister is a vegetarian; oh, and I absolutely HATE mushrooms. We figured out the logistics and I think it's going to be beautiful. We'll have a sample menu in a couple weeks and the caterer works with the rental company for tables, tents, and chairs, the works! Stay tuned for more to come!

As I said, I went to my parents' house Sunday night. (Don't get ahead of yourself there! There was no blowout fight or exciting news that sent me rushing home to mother. I just left a lot of junk at home because of my horrendous packing skills.) Before making the drive back home, I made a list of all the things I wanted to be sure to bring back to the apartment. You'll be surprised to hear that not only did I find everything on the list, but I successfully packed it into my car and got it here!

I'm not quite ready to post about my weight loss yet. I haven't gotten with that program yet either, but I will say that my goal is to lose 65 pounds; and I do have the much to lose. More to come on that as well.

As for job hunting...that hasn't even made it's way onto page one of my "To Do" list yet. I'm getting there. Eventually...

I Like to Move It, Move It

Not so much. Moving is not so fun. There are a lot of reasons why moving isn’t fun, but here is how it went down…

I moved from my parents’ house, the house that I lived in since I was born. My mom is a borderline hoarder. (Don’t ever let her know that I admitted that to the world, but it’s true.) That means that pretty much everything I have ever owned is still in that house, and if I try to get rid of it, she usually interrupts me and says, “Aw, you’re going to get rid of that?” Thus, I have pretty much everything since I was born in that house, not to mention all the furniture and other things I accumulated in the four years I was away at school. All that added up to the process of packing becoming too overwhelming, so I gave up and left a bunch of stuff there. I’m heading back Monday to start to make heads and tails of it all.

As if packing wasn’t bad enough, there is the actual process of loading everything into the truck. My dad, bless his heart, wanted to help, but due to back injuries, can hardly even walk. He stood in the way, moved one thing at a time, and most of all, aggravated me. He also spent the whole time commenting on how half of the moving truck was full of my shoes. Yes, Dad. Anyone who knows me knows I have a large collection of shoes. It is not my fault, as I said, I’m a shopaholic. (Oh no, I just used the word “collection” to describe my belongings. I’m afraid my own hoarding tendencies are starting to show through. It’s genetic you know!)

Anyway, my fiancé and I loaded up the truck and my SUV and drove the two hours to get to the new place. It was getting late and we still needed to return the truck, so we decided to do a quick unload and leave everything in the garage for the time being. That was Saturday, January 9th. It’s Wednesday, January 13th and most of it is still there.

I did bring up a few boxes from the garage. I started with kitchen gear, and after putting hours of working into it, the kitchen is really starting to come along. The bedroom is pretty complete; it just needs a little artwork or something. The walk-in closet is almost empty as my clothes are almost all still in the garage. (Chris, that’s my fiancé, gave me the entire walk-in because it’s not all that big and, being a shopaholic, I have a lot of clothes.) The second bedroom is almost entirely empty and the office has become a catch all for junk. The dining room/built-in desk area have turned out great. (That’s where I’m working right now. The living room is a disaster, but while look a lot better after we get all the boxes and garbage out. (I plan to post pictures soon, after I find where I packed my camera!)

Finally, I'm happy to report that everything has been great living with Chris (and the two kitties) so far. He's being patient with my slow moving in style and I'm pitching in by making dinner for him so it's ready when he gets home from work. I love the new place; the set-up is great and so are all the amenities. We have even taken advantage of the communal hot tub and workout room. Moving may suck, but it was all worth it!

FYI…I plan to start posting more often, now that I have my computer up and going. I expect the next post will be about my weight loss goals, as that’s the next step. Since I’m still in the process of moving, expect updates on that as well. And as for the exciting part, we are meeting with the caterer on Saturday, so wedding planning is in full swing. Job hunting is on hold at the moment…I’ve got too much going on right now!