Keeping Up Appearances

My passion for makeup is third only to shoes and handbags. I've been collecting makeup since before I can remember and that tube of hot pink lipstick in my bathroom drawer (circa 1992) will vouch for me. Before you judge me for having an unsanitary tube of twenty year old lipstick, know that I have researched the shelf lives of makeup products and abide closely by them. This lipstick is an exception as it originally was my grandmother's and it was my first tube of lipstick, the catalyst for my addiction.

You would think, knowing that, I would wear new makeup looks all the time and always have my appearance together in the facial region. Well, you would think that, but you would be wrong. Not only do I not try out new makeup looks frequently, but I'm not even sure when the last time I wore makeup was. I love makeup and I love to play with it. As far as my daily beauty regime though, it just doesn't make the cut. While I was never a, "I don't leave the house without makeup" kind-of-girl, and I have been known to go bare-faced to work a time or two, I used to take pride in my appearance. That's not to say I place appearance above all else; however in today's society you must admit it matters.

What's the point of this incoherent rambling? You want to know what gave me this inspiration?

Wendy's. Yes, I'm talking fast-food burgers and fries, Where's the beef?, You know when it's real, Wendy's. After one of my mom's monthly, three hour long doctor's appointment, we opted for a fast bite to eat. Before you judge me again, I only had a measly kid's hamburger and soda. It could have been a lot worse. Anyway, the drive-thru line was backed up for days, so I decided it would be quicker to run inside. I walked right up to the counter to place my order with the cashier, a girl in her late-teens.

Momentarily, I was taken aback. It wasn't because of her hostile demeanor; I expected that. It wasn't the red of her hair, which resembled cartoon Wendy from the sign. It was her appearance, in a good way. Her pale complexion, which enabled her to make that red hair work, was fresh and smooth. Her foundation was applied in a natural way with just a hint of color splashed on her cheeks. She was sporting minimal eyeshadow, but had opted for a cat-eye look with winged black liquid eyeliner. And for the cherry on top of the Frosty, she sported full, fluffy, false eyelashes.

My initial reaction was that it was a little over-done for working at Wendy's. There's nothing wrong with working at fast-food joints; it's just unexpected to be served by Miss America. But then I thought, why not? Maybe we all need to take a cue from little Miss Wendy's. Just because we aren't out doing exactly what we'd love to be doing, doesn't mean we can't make the best of the situation. It doesn't mean we shouldn't present ourselves in the best way we know how. Shouldn't we always be putting our best foot forward?

Image courtesy of ahmet guler.

Lazy Is Such An Ugly Word

I do not like the word lazy. I feel like lazy is such an ugly word; it is a four letter word after all. I really don't like the fact that lately, I could describe myself as lazy. Recently, it seems that nothing motivates me enough to get anything done or things are just too overwhelming to even begin.

My intentions are always good. The problem may be that my ideas are just too big. I don't know where to begin. Writing has always been a release for me, so I decided to try my hand at really writing, like novel writing. From short stories, to even shorter blog posts, I'm obviously going in the wrong direction. Maybe novel writing is biting off more than I can chew at this point, especially with my newly found lazy demeanor. On the other hand, maybe it's the perfect thing to make me wake up and smell the coffee.

Considering I can barely get off the couch long enough to do the dishes some days, I doubt a novel will start magically flowing from my fingers. Realizing this, lazy strikes again and I don't even know where to begin. Instead, my attention turns to the TV and I find myself in the same spot on the couch for hours, sometimes unblinking.

I can roughly pinpoint when I caught lazy. Shortly after I quit my job and re-located to be with my then-fiance, I found myself getting less and less done. Also, I was sleeping a ton! It didn't take long to make our apartment cozy and homey so I quickly ran out of things to do. While I was job searching in the beginning, it was only a half-hearted attempt. It wasn't long until I was on a full-fledged mission to find a job though. Any job would do just to inject some structure into my life.

I began working a part-time retail job which wasn't so great, but I enjoyed actually having to be somewhere a few times a week. When I wasn't working, I knew that I had to use my time off wisely to get things done. Lazy was fading fast. Not to toot my own horn, but I would say I have an outstanding work ethic. My employers noticed this too, and eventually I was working four or five days a week. While I enjoyed the extra income and store discount, it didn't make up for the erratic schedule and, at times, hostile work environment. Lazy began flaring up again.

With the hours I was working, I again lacked structure and though I spent lots of time working, I spent little time getting anything else done. That's when my mom's accident and cancer diagnosis came in.

I was no longer working and spending almost every waking second with her. At that point, I wasn't getting anything done, but I was just focused on being with my mom. Eventually, things progressed with my mom's health and I began to regain a sense of normalcy in my life.

Currently, my life still lacks structure though and I think that's a huge culprit of the lazy. Tuesday through Thursday I stay with my with mom, and spend most of my time taking her to appointments and running errands. Friday, I make the two and a half hour drive back home to be with my new husband. I stay there through Monday until it's time to make the long drive back to be with my mom again. I'm so exhausted by the time I get to either place, it's like pulling teeth trying to get myself to do simple household chores. Whether it's cooking, cleaning, or grocery shopping, it all seems as daunting as writing that novel.

So I have to ask; what motivates you? What do you do when you're feeling overwhelmed? Where do I begin?

What happens now that TheShoppingGirl can count everything she shopped for in the last two months on one hand? *Gasp*

Thank you to nuttakit for the provided image.

No, This Isn't My New Year's Resolution

I'm guessing the blogosphere is abuzz right about now. I'm sure millions of new bloggers joined the scene and a million more bloggers (like myself) who fell off the blog-wagon are jumping back on thanks to the New Year and its pesky resolutions.

Well, blogging isn't my New Year's Resolution. This is because New Year's Resolutions are a like promise just waiting to be broken. It is estimated that only 12% of people actually achieve their resolutions each year. I don't like those odds.

Years ago I proclaimed that I will no longer be making New Year's Resolutions because making them is almost the same as saying "I will not accomplish this goal." I haven't made a New Year's Resolution since. *I would like to make clear that it was not a New Year's Resolution to no longer make New Year's Resolutions, just a pure statement. Otherwise, you may try to claim irony in that, that was the one New Year's Resolution I actually kept.*

I'm back to blogging just for pure self-fulfilment. I've tried my hand at it twice before and never got into a rythmn. Here's to the old "third time's a charm" credo!

If any blogger out there (old or new) has any helpful tips on obtaining a blogging rythmn, please do share.

Long Live Queen Ding-Dong

This post ties back into my post I. Want. A. Job. As I was saying before, I really want a job, even just a little something. (Although, I know as soon as I get a job, I will be saying the opposite).

Anyway, last night I decided to check Craigslist for open jobs in my area. I have always been a little hesitant looking for jobs on Craigslist because you never know what you might get. Beyond that, companies don't list their names on Craigslist, so you can't do your research and you don't know what you're signing up for.

I decided because everywhere else I was looking, I was out of leads, I might as well give Craigslist a chance. A found a job posted that day that sounded great. It was part-time, working at a physical therapy practice. I decided my skill set truly fit with what they were looking for and proceeded to reply to their posting.

In my last post about job hunting, I mentioned that I like to write a very specific cover letter for each position, but was sick of writing them and always felt they were never just right. I went back to the drawing board though and made this as pertinent as I could with the two sentence job description I had been provided. I actually thought it was a success. (Of course, I still haven't heard anything back.)

While I was applying for this great opportunity, I decided to see if I could find anything else worth applying for. I found four other positions that seemed to have potential, so I figured I would apply to them as well. (As I said, I've been applying to tons of positions and haven't heard more than a word or two back from anywhere. I don't understand when or how I became such an untouchable.) Moving on, I decided the cover letter I had written for the physical therapy position was a strong enough blanket cover letter, since I had little information to go off of from the postings. Here is where the trouble began.

I tapped reply to the next job and copy and pasted my previous email. I changed the job description in which I referenced and did a quick once over to make sure I took out anything else that referred to a physical therapy practice. It looked good! Off I sent it. I repeated this process three other times and then jumped into bed. It was after midnight by this point.

This morning I woke up expecting to hear nothing back, but hoping all the same that I would. My phone rang around 9:30, but it was my fiance's set ringtone, so though I was happy he called, disappointment still hit that it wasn't a future employer. After ending my conversation with Chris, I thumbed through my BlackBerry for emails. Some junk, nothing good. I was going to crawl back in bed for awhile to read or watch TV, but my phone blinked red, indicating that I had a new email.

I scanned down and I couldn't believe it was for the Administrative Assistant position that I had applied to just the night before. The posting had been old, so I didn't get my hopes up, thinking they may just be telling me that it had been filled. At this point, I was so excited at the thought that someone would even bother to tell me that, because that was a first. I excitedly opened the email and read only a short phrase.

We don't have a physical therapy practice...

I gasped. Instead of aiming myself back towards the bed, I scurried to my computer to assess the damage. There it was, right in the first paragraph. I had neglected to take out that I would be an asset to their physical therapy practice. I meant company! I meant company, whichever one you were!

My stomach churned. I immediately replied. I wasn't sure that that was the right choice. My letter mentions how great I am at attention to detail. (I swear, I am extremely detail-oriented. It was midnight. I was in panic mode that I would never find a job. I knew I should have written a job specific cover letter. Shame on me.) But I replied anyway, apologizing for the mistake, hoping that deep down they would decide that everybody makes mistakes, but it takes a strong person to admit they are wrong, especially to an prospective employer. (I haven't heard anything back there either, nor do I expect to.)

After an attempt at damage control, I opted to recall the other three pending letters. Because it was sent through Craigslist, it can't be recalled. A new reason to not like Craigslist!

So there you have it. This Ding-Dong here applied to four jobs yesterday, telling each how she would be an asset to their physical therapy practice, of which they do not have. I am totally embarrassed, but I'll just have to chalk it up as another lesson learned, laugh at myself, and move on.


On a side note: I've been looking back at my previous number of post each month, and that number keeps declining. My goal is to try to get the number to increase now instead of decrease. Especially since I lost a lovely follower. To those of you who have stuck around: I appreciate your on-going support.

Long Live Queen Ding-Dong!

To Lose or Not to Lose?

Well this is certainly not a problem I ever thought I would have to deal with. I've just known that I will always be someone who has weight to lose; thus I should always being actively trying to lose weight. Here's the dilema:

Saturday, I found it! The dress. The one I could see myself getting married in. I had so been dreading wedding dress shopping. Being a size 16, if I have to try on a size bigger, I'm in the plus size department. And wedding dresses run on the small side. I had convinced myself I was going to have to custom order a hideous dress, not at all what I was looking for, because of my size. There just isn't a great selection of plus size wedding dresses. And I was looking to keep the budget down.

So, Saturday, I met with a bridal consultant. I ticked off my fingers all the things I was looking for in a dress, but assured her I was open to trying anything. I was just saying, I've been in this body for 24 years and I know what works and what doesn't. As for the list: preferably not strapless, I need something to support my DD's, and hopefully even thick straps because I have such broad shoulders, something simple, but not too plain, something for an outdoor setting, white, yes, but the shade isn't too important. She asks me my size and pulls me over to the rack holding the potential candidates. She then asks if a halter is okay, and I replied, that's great.

(Note: My dress is not pictured.)

She's pulls a dress off the rack. I consider it from all angles. I liked it. I wasn't sure about the long train, or if the bead work was just right, but it looked good overall. The consultant hung it in the dressing room while I browsed the racks. I pull about nine other dresses. Everything looked good, but I point I wasn't really loving any one more than the other. I was waiting to try them on before I made my decision. As I said, I was trying to stay open to anything.

I fly through dress after dress. No, that didn't work at all. My boobs would never fit in any size of that dress. That neckline to too straight. With the lace bottom, they would have to custom order that one. This one looks pink. This one makes me look fat(ter). I like this top, but not the bottom. I like this bottom, but not the top. This one is two sizes to small, I like it, but I don't know what it would look like if I ordered it, don't want to take any chances. Finally, one that zips. But it's a size 18 and is an absolute tent on me. I look like I should be housing the tables at the reception not walking down the aisle. Okay, clip it back, what would it look like smaller? It would be okay. There's beading at the bottom though, hemming the dress would be nightmare and an expensive one at that.

We get to the last dress on the rack. The ivory halter that we pulled first. I shimmy in and it zips! I can't believe it, it fits. And it had all the elements I was looking for. It looks like it was custom made for me. The waist cuts in, slimming my shape. The beading tapers off into a V and hits in exactly the right spots. There isn't any beading on the bottom, making hemming a cinch! The halter straps need to be shortened, but other than that, it fits just like a glove. I was shocked at such a good find. And it was on sale. And the floor model was clean and in good shape. I took it, receiving another 20% off.

After 1 hour and 20 minutes, I walked out of the shop with a dress in hand, and it fit the budget coming in at $500 with tax. The dilema in that you ask? As I said, it fits like a glove.

As you probably know, I've been trying to lose weight. I hoped that I could lose at least 20 pounds before the wedding. With about five months to go, that was a reasonable goal. The thing is, my weight loss has slowed (and I've gotten lazy truthfully). I decided, I didn't need the stress of trying to lose a bunch of weight before the wedding. It didn't want to starve myself to be sure I could fit in a smaller size dress.

But I think I could lose a little weight and still fit in the dress. (I mean to be healthy, I really do need to lose weight.) But I'm worried if I lose too much, there won't be time to get all the alterations done on the dress. They scolded me while I was there, you can't buy a dress and then lose a bunch of weight. Okay. Point taken. Maybe 10 pounds max? Does anybody have any idea how much would be too much? How many pounds is a size typically? Then I worry if I don't actively try to lose weight, I'm going to gain weight, and then I won't fit either. Why does everything wedding related have to be so stressful? Help!

If You're Wondering Where I've Been

Forgive me for being away so long. I'm finally feeling better; I was so sick with a flu and it lasted for almost two weeks. My head was in a fog, and I really couldn't even think straight. Besides being sick, I also was getting my butt into gear working more on my goals; however blogging got pushed to the side.

I had to buckle down and start nailing down wedding plans. While I still have no dress, which I keep hearing I'm late on getting, most everything else is at satisfactory progress. The dress is the next step. And being at my current size, my least favorite part.

I also had to put my nose to the grindstone. It's not that I have to get a job right now. With Chris' income and my savings, financially we are set. It's not even that I'm bored. Truthfully, I'm fine at home picking up hobbies and watching TV. The thing is, there is a voice in my head that keeps telling me to at least try to get into the workforce again. We all know it's not an easy task at this time, but I'm thinking about my resume. I don't want to have a large gap while looking for a job. I don't want a perspective employer think that I'm lazy or that I don't want to work, and that I don't have experience. Ultimately, I really do have a strongly work ethic and want to work. I will always strive to be the best at what I do, even menial tasks. Like I say, it's not that I'm bored, but I want to have a sense of accomplishment, and taking care of a three bedroom apartment and two cats doesn't exactly cut it for me. I want something more out of life. I want to be a success.

Some of this may come from the fact that I just celebrated my 24th birthday. While I don't feel old by any means, I feel like I don't have much to show for myself. There is a second factor that made me realize this. Chris and I made a quick shopping trip at Nordstrom Rack. I barely even wanted to shop because I didn't want to spend money, but I hated that I didn't want to shop because I LOVE shopping. (I'll save what I bought because I'm going to try and follow through with my post idea for "Confessions of a Shopaholic" which I promise to get to soon.)So, I want to earn money, my own money. While Chris is willing to give me money, I don't want to take it for shoes and clothes, or my own hobbies. I feel like I have to answer to him and it takes away my independence. He's nonchalant about it, but I'm insistent that I want to take care of myself in some way.

So that's where I've been. Working away on writing cover letters and adjusting my resume. Applying, applying, and applying, trying to find somewhere that while hire me, and let's face it, something I won't hate at the same time. I'll post again soon. Thanks for sticking with me.

Times Flies When....

Time just seems to be getting away from me. Late Tuesday night I made it back from the wonderful trip to Disneyland. We had tons of fun and took it kind of easy for once, so that was great. The weather was amazing and I definitely soaked up some much needed rays. I even celebrated my birthday while in the park even though it isn't until the 23rd, but considering I will probably just hang out at home on the actually day, I think it's okay. I missed celebrating Valentine's Day with my honey, but we celebrated early. My mom, sister, and I made a girls' day out of Valentine's Day, even having a fancy lunch with some princesses. (Corny I know, but fun none-the-less.) The one complaint I have is that the lines were much longer than I had expected them to be in February, even if it was a holiday weekend. We missed out on a couple things with the limited time, but still experienced the magic!

(One more tiny complaint: Weekends there is a firework show at night, and the park pretty much shuts down an hour before it starts, during, and even about thirty minutes after the display. I don't mind just sitting and watching, but because the whole park is basically forced to stand and watch (no sitting, except if you can find a bench that someone hasn't parked their butt on for hours in anticipation) there is nowhere to go. I was forced into the only open spot of pavement until the show began. Unfortunately, the reason it was open was due to the fact that there was a nice, large pile of vomit next to it. But I waited it out until the crew came and cleaned it up, and miraculously it was disinfected and smelling acceptable just as the show began.) Thought you might enjoy that little story, because for any of you that know me, you know, these are the things that can only happen to me.

Anyway, I wanted to be sure to post today because I'm off again! That's right, I've basically spent only one weekend at the apartment since moving in. I have a million plans, but none of them involve being here. Guess that's what happens when your only friends in the city you live in are your fiance and your two cats. (Still love it here though!) I'm heading back to my parents house tomorrow, to catch the Bon Jovi concert with my mom, sister, and family friend. This won't be my first Bon Jovi concert, but it will be the first one not in the absolutely last row in the place. I'm also hoping it will be the first one that doesn't involve the sweaty lady from the seat next to me grinding on my in her leather pants. Cross your fingers for me! (I'm telling you, these things can only happen to me.) I don't yet know if I'm staying until Saturday or Sunday, but I do know that I have a lot of junk stored up in my old room, so I promise myself that I will take some time to de-clutter more.

Speaking of de-cluttering, that goal is actually going along well. Chris and I recently spent some time in the garage and I organized and purged another nice chunk of things. I'm happy with the progress, but I know there is still a lot more work to be done! Keep on chuckin'! (Get it? It's late, forgive my stupid humor.)

Finding a job has not been going well. I can't find anything that sounds appealing, but that hasn't stopped me from applying. I haven't received a single call back. Guess I'll have to try a different approach with my cover letters. I know I should really get out there and start networking more, but I just haven't pushed myself to do it yet. Must just be fear or rejection holding me back. And if I'm really being 100% honest here, I have been a little lazy. I've been hoping for some fantastic opportunity that just comes up. That's what I've always lucked into before. I've been secretly hoping it would happen serendipitously just one more time. I think it's time to just get out and there and network.

Wedding planning is going well. We have our menu finalized and it sounds delicious. Our caterer has been so amazing to work with and I think everyone will be really happy with the choices. We've got three fancy passed hor dourves in addition to the salmon and chicken, added to some pasta salad, regular salad, an array of fresh fruit. This blurb does it no justice. My old college roommate, a graphic designer, is designing the invitations. I need to get in touch with her again, to show her some samples of what I like. (If anyone has any good suggestions for invitations, please feel free to comment.) We have a great photographer and I hear she can work wonders with Photoshop. I'm hoping she can put my head on someone else's body or at least slim me down the 70 pounds I'm hoping to shed! Only joking. I've only lost about 5 pounds total since I moved into the new place, but at least it's a start. The wedding is now 6 months away, so I better get into gear.

Although, I am proud to announce that I am under 200 pounds. Unfortunately, I'm not that proud to announce that because I have just admitted that I was over 200 pounds, but what they heck, most of us are on a weight-loss journey and completely understand. I'm going to convince myself that you're not judging; you understand that the extra weight doesn't come from sitting on the couch, eating bon-bons, and not doing much else. You know, it's there despite the limited calorie intake, the lack of carbs, the extra walks up the stairs, the hours on the elliptical, the weight-loss shakes and the starving, the pilates and the endless treadmill. You name, I've tried it all, as I'm telling myself you have, too. Sometimes we lose, sometimes we gain, but it's a never-ending struggle. While I keep saying I'd like to lose 70 pounds, the reality is, I haven't weighed that little since elementary school (I developed early). So while losing 70 pounds would put me at my dream weight, I'm thinking more realistically. By the wedding, I would love to lose 30 more pounds. It's a big goal, but attainable in six months. That's only a total of 5 pounds lost a month. I know it's easy said than done, but I really am working on "life style changes". (Yes, that's a residual quote from my Weight Watcher's days.) I'm working on being confident and happy at any weight, but I need to be healthy, too. I just don't have much energy, and that's what I really want to get back.

Enough about all that, let's get to the good stuff. Shopping! As I said, my shopping has been on somewhat of a lockdown due to my lack of job and rapidly depleting savings account. I have an idea for a weekly post: Confessions of a Shopaholic. At the end of every week (or possibly two at this point in time) I will summarize what I bought a la Becky Bloomwood in the book, Confessions of a Shopaholic. (One of my favorites.) It's entertaining, but also a good way to keep track of what I'm actually spending, because sometimes, you don't even realize what you've spent with all the little things here and there. Let me know what you guys think, if that's something worth reading to you! I will tell you that just today, I "accidentally" purchased three pairs of shoes from GoJane.com. You see, you had to spend $50 to get the free shipping and the shoes are all so cheap that it took three pairs to get to $50. Do you think Chris will believe that the Shoe Fairy came for my birthday?

Good for Me

It's a good thing I factored in Monday as a recovery day when I was setting my goal timelines. I was totally sick; yuck! I'm feeling fine today, so I guess it's back to work.

Let me just quickly mention: Kathy Griffin is my hero. Her show was absolutely amazing; upon leaving the venue, my stomach was sore from laughing so hard for so long. I wish I could be funny like that; her show was just so witty and clever. And I probably appreciated it more than most as I have never missed an episode of the reality shows that she has based a chuck of her material around: The Real Housewives, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Hoarders, and of course her own, My Life on the D List. It was just too good for words.

Sunday morning, my dad brought me a variety of McDonald's breakfasts. No, I wasn't supposed to choose which type I wanted; I was supposed to eat them all. That's great for my weight loss goal. He gets offended if I don't eat everything and he sits and watches me eat, so I can't even pretend! I stuffed way too much food down, but managed to leave a few breakfast sandwiches in the bag. Did I mention that upon my arrival on Friday, my sister greeted me with my favorite Dairy Queen treat? Yes, the yummy layer of fudge and peanuts topped with ice cream, topped with more fudge and peanuts, layered with more ice cream, finished with another scoop of fudge and peanuts dessert. I could not resist and ate the entire thing! Do you see now why I said my family sabotages my goals?

Sunday I made it home minutes before Chris' parents arrived. He had finished cleaning everything, so the place looked great. I on the other hand was a mess, un-showered with a ponytail, sweatshirt, and jeans. I was just going to have to stay that way though, because there was no time. I really like Chris' family, and it was a nice visit. His parents checked out the new apartment (which they loved) and just chatted for awhile before treating us to a great lunch. They even brought us a housewarming present: a rice cooker (which I will have to learn how to use).

You should be proud to know that Chris and I, did in fact, send out our save-the-dates last night. We just used TheKnot to create a spreadsheet of our guests, uploaded it, and used the email save-the-date option. The email is really cute and the design matches the website we created. It was so easy I should have done it a long time ago. We already have people responding, it's great. I highly recommend it. (Don't worry, paper invitations will still follow.)

I have a lead on the job-front, which I plan to check out later today. I followed one lead this weekend, but it ultimately ended up that I would need to get my real estate license, and by the time all was said and done, it would be cheaper for me to not work.

Remember the skin care goal? Yeah, that one kind of feel off already. In my defense though, my skin was actually acting up with all the attention I was paying to it. I was breaking out and the routine, even with all the moisturizer, was drying out my skin so much, that a wrinkle actually starting appearing on my forehead. Now that I stopped, by skin is looking better and the wrinkle has pretty much disappeared. So don't follow that routine...even if it was in a magazine.

This weekend, I found SITS (The Secret is the Sauce) which is a support site for bloggers. It's great and I've already found new blogs to follow and even got a few new followers myself. It inspired me to do more with my blog, so I'm working on that now, too. Thanks to everyone who took the time to visit my page. Hopefully, once I find my voice a little more, I can be a little more entertaining!

I'm Finally on Track, But How Long Will It Last?

With January quickly coming to an end, I fear that once it’s gone, my motivation will be too. I use the term motivation in the loosest sense as we all know I don’t have much. Lately, I’ve been using what little I have and powering through though. I’m actually following through with some of the goals I set. (I choose not to call these New Year’s resolutions because I am strongly against making New Year’s resolutions. Those are just made to be broken.)

I’ve actually started being more pro-active in my wedding planning. This week I even went to TheKnot.com and created a wedding website for Chris and I. By next week, I hope to even have the “save the date” emails out. (However, next week will be February, so there’s not telling if that’s going to happen.) I’ve talked recently to my bridesmaid about a dress that we both love and as she is conveniently making my invitations as well, about those too. Things are well underway.

As far as job hunting goes, I’m still slacking on that front. I just feel like I need to get a few more things under control before I can start working. At least, I was feeling that way. I going to set a date for myself: next Tuesday I must begin the process of starting to find a job. My former boss gave me a letter of recommendation, something I was always too afraid to ask for in the past, so my application materials are that much more complete. While my savings are dwindling, I’ve been curbing my shopping habit (which is incredibly hard for me). I feel guilty shopping when I have no idea when my next source of income will come in and I refuse to beg Chris for an allowance. There is no reason for that. (I understand there are many situations when one person in the relationship must support the other, but I’m just being lazy in my job search. If I truly cannot find a job soon, then I may reconsider this scenario.)

My goal to get out from under the clutter is going better than I ever expected. I’ve been very diligent in donating and throwing away things that I don’t truly need. I realize I keep mentioning how much of a shopaholic I am, but haven’t shown you much in that respect if you don’t already know me personally. That’s mostly because I’ve been trying to not even think about shopping since I don’t have the means to do it at this time. Here is one example though. I am a shoe and purse fanatic! Now, I haven’t gotten around to going through my shoes yet, but I decided last night, to sort through my purses. Besides the handful of purses that I have scattered about, I brought 3 bins full of a variety of purses: bags large enough to be used as computer totes, small clutches and tiny wristlets, from more luxurious brands like Michael Kors, Betsey Johnson, and Coach, to the one with more everyday prices points like Nine West, Nicole Miller, Rampage, and Guess, even a few Wal-Mart and Payless purchases. I don’t discriminate. While I do get a thrill buying designer brands, I truly go for the aesthetic appeal; if it’s cute, classy, stylish, or anything in between, I HAVE TO HAVE IT. Anyway, I digress. I was wanted to pat myself on the back for donating an entire box of purses. And I don’t mean some small box; I mean a full on medium moving box from Home Depot. I usually have such a hard time getting rid of purses, thinking that I can use them again sometime, but the truth is I never use them again. I’ve already moved on and bought ten more purses, some I will use and some I never will. The purses are just the beginning; I’m totally getting my junk situation under control.

I’m still not quite ready to talk about my weight loss goals. Weight is something I’ve struggled with my whole life, and I’m embarrassed to even talk about it. I always feel judged on it, but when I delve too deep into trying to lose weight, I become obsessed and it consumes me. I’m working on finding a happy medium before I start going public with my weight blogs. (I continue to work on them privately.)

Finally, I have one more goal that I haven’t mentioned on my blog. The reason being: it is so new. I was readying over the February “People: Style Watch” one of my favorite magazines. It has an article about 5 ways to getting great skin. Since I’m all gung-ho about goals right now, and my wedding in coming up in August, I figured I might as well work on getting great skin. My skin is fine, if not a little dry, nothing great. I don’t breakout much, but when I do I always get one or two giant blemishes that no matter what you do, you can’t cover and you can’t resist picking (eww, I know, but it’s the truth). Anyway, I’m working on taking better care of my skin. I’m starting with a new night regime for now: I start with some basic cream face wash, then put on a newly purchased serum that is supposed to even out skin tone, and follow that with another newly purchases ultra-moisturizing cream, top it off with cream made specifically for the eye area and you’re set. So far, I haven’t seen a change, but it’s only been about two days so stay tuned if you’re interested to find out.

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

For the last three days all Chris and I did was unpack. I realize we have been unpacking for almost two weeks now, but I attribute this to the fact that I am, indeed, a shopaholic. As I previously mentioned, before I started blogging publicly, I was privately blogging as a therapeutic release. Part of that self-therapy was trying to get myself out from under the clutter I was living in at my parents’ house. As I have also mentioned before, I am convinced I have an acute case of hoarding. Recently I learned that hoarding is a type of OCD and associated with it, many times, is compulsive shopping. Also, it can be genetic. Note: I have not been evaluated by a professional and so this is all self-diagnosis. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I’m hurting anything by acknowledging that I may have a problem. (Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)

So, as I was saying, my goal at my parents’ house was: Get Out from Under That Clutter. One quick fix was to move into a bigger space. Another was to leave a large amount of items at my parents’ house, where I know it won’t be tossed. But that is really not fixing the problem, it’s masking it. Eventually it will catch up with me again and I don’t think I can afford to move into a bigger place. My parents won’t want my stuff around forever either.

Moving into this nice, new place has made me realize how great it feels when things are clean and organized. I don’t want to clutter it up and feel like I’m being suffocated by my possessions like I did at my parents’ house. Because it’s still January, I feel like I can get away with adding another New Year’s resolution. I will downsize the amount of unnecessary junk I hold onto and make sure not to get buried under clutter. Here are a few steps I have been using while working on it thus far:

• Ask myself, “Why are you keeping that?” and being honest with myself about the real reason
• Commit to cleaning up and clearing out, not getting lazy about it
• When in doubt, throw it out
• Keep the memory, maybe a picture, but toss the item
• I must throw away or donate at least one item a day
• If I’m feeling ambitious, I can throw away or donate a little more but that doesn’t count towards the future
• Reward myself, within reason, by keeping one thing out of the bunch, getting a new treat to replace something, or just taking a long break and watching a girly movie, or blogging
• Don’t let other people clutter my life, for example, don’t worry about getting rid of something because it was a gift

So that’s it for right now. I’m working on getting my life and house a little more uncluttered. And I have to say, I’ve been doing pretty well for me. I’m parting with things that before I would never have. I’m shopping much less (but that’s another blog in the making). Chris’ parents are coming on Sunday. We still have a lot to unpack before they come, but I think it’s good. I work better with a deadline. I’ll let you know how the visit with the future in-laws goes. I’m not too worried, but then again, that’s when bad things happen.