So That's Why They Call it A Slimmer

I've been meaning to buy a pair of SPANX for awhile now. You know, the bodyshapers. I just wanted the kind that are like spandex biking shorts, not the whole shaping caboodle or anything. I recently bought a bodyshaper from T. J. Maxx, the long, shorts type. They were a cheaper alternative than a pair of SPANX, thus the reason for buying them. I figured they would do the trick.

While covering my cellulite and making my pants fit a little better is at the top of my wish list, that's ultimately not what I planned to achieve with these SPANX alternatives. I will admit to you the real reason I wanted a pair of long bodyshaping shorts: so my legs won't rub or stick together when I walk. While I do carry my excess weight fairly proportionately, I definitely have some thunder thighs. I can't walk long without chaffing and "rub burning" my inner thighs. And while I don't have anything against cowboys, I don't really enjoy walking like one.

Anyway, I tried these cheap SPANX alternatives and ended up walking "Rootin' Tootin' Cowboy Joe"-style after a few minutes because the darn things just rolled up. I mean, they practically became a second set of underwear and I had a roll line generously framing my butt and thighs. After that fiasco, I told myself to stop being frugal and go for the SPANX. I set my mind to buying a pair of SPANX, eventually.

Last night, I made a late night solo trip to Fred Meyer. Chris caught my horrible cold and I was re-stocking the medicine cabinet for him. Even though I moved in a couple months ago, I still hadn't finished organizing my closet; this was partially due to the fact that I ran out of hangers. This week Chris and I were working on cleaning the place up a little more and I decided I need to get my closet settled. So back at Fred Meyer, my handy dandy list told me I needed more hangers in addition to the cough syrup.

Once I walked through the automatic glass doors, I veered to the left, right to the clothing department. I tell you no lie, I really thought that is where I would find hangers. While I didn't find any empty hangers, I did pick up a shirt and sweater that conveniently came with their own respective hangers! I promptly added them to my basket (but left them in the car upon my arrival home as I didn't want to hear complaining that I was shopping for unnecessary clothes while Chris was suffering with the cold I gave him and he didn't even have any medicine, blah, blah, blah...).

After I did the full rounds and figured out that hangers are actually on the opposite side of Fred Meyer in the storage section, I started to move along. On my way into the next department I was distracted by an adorable black and white straw hat. Don't worry. I gently reminded myself that it has been snowing outside lately, I'm not going to the racetrack anytime soon, and I wouldn't want to pack it on vacation even if it is to Hawaii because it would just get smashed. (On second thought, Chris and I did talk about going to the racetrack. Maybe I should go back and buy it, even if I would be the only one wearing a giant hat. And I would look ridiculous, considering people don't typically wear straw hats to the racetrack for everyday races. Okay, you win, I won't buy it. Until I can think of a better excuse.)

Back at the store, after I talked myself out of the lovely little hat, I continued to move along and was soon confronted in the aisle by ASSETS. The packaging reminded me that I had indeed been meaning to buy a pair of SPANX. I figured that considering I never remember to do just that, and that I didn't know when the next opportunity may present itself, I should just buy these. They were a lower price alternative, but not too low in price that I didn't expect them to deliver results.

I analyzed my options and decided that I might as well go with the high-waisted shorts option rather than the medium rise. After all, my tummy needs smoothing and I wouldn't have to worry about them rolling down. So I picked up the green package and consulted with the back on which size to choose. Height: 5' even, though I always try to cop to a couple more inches. I figured I should be honest to get the best fit for my little splurge. Okay, next. Weight: that's a little rude don't you think? I've only just met you, little green cardboard box of judgment. Alright: just under 200 pounds. I guess that makes me a size: off the chart! What are you telling me? These are not going to fit you, unless you lose 10 pounds or grow an inch? How can you be so fat; is that even possible? Skip the next few meals? You are a horribly deformed freak? Reluctantly, I opted for the size that is the biggest a 5' person should be, or at least according to ASSETS anyway.

Once I pulled the shaper out of the bag, I realized I should be fine. They were like nylons or tights, so I could just stretch them out. Make it work, as Tim Gunn would say. I went into the bathroom and put one foot in. My right leg was immediately encased like a little sausage. Make it work. Pull. Stretch. Breathe. Pull. More. More. Breathe. Shimmy. Shimmy. Jump. Phew. I did it! I officially got my new little buddies on. So far I don't have any complaints, but I'm glad I didn't get the bigger size. These come all the way up to my boobs. I didn't need the same size as somebody even a centimeter taller. And one other complaint, that I will have to add about 20 minutes to my routine in the morning if I'm planning on wearing a skirt to get these suckers on. But as long as the unattractive and painful rub rash on my inner thighs is gone, it's much worth it. And besides, with all the sweating I did just putting these ASSETS on, I'm definitely going to lose weight. So that's why they call it a slimmer.

If You're Wondering Where I've Been

Forgive me for being away so long. I'm finally feeling better; I was so sick with a flu and it lasted for almost two weeks. My head was in a fog, and I really couldn't even think straight. Besides being sick, I also was getting my butt into gear working more on my goals; however blogging got pushed to the side.

I had to buckle down and start nailing down wedding plans. While I still have no dress, which I keep hearing I'm late on getting, most everything else is at satisfactory progress. The dress is the next step. And being at my current size, my least favorite part.

I also had to put my nose to the grindstone. It's not that I have to get a job right now. With Chris' income and my savings, financially we are set. It's not even that I'm bored. Truthfully, I'm fine at home picking up hobbies and watching TV. The thing is, there is a voice in my head that keeps telling me to at least try to get into the workforce again. We all know it's not an easy task at this time, but I'm thinking about my resume. I don't want to have a large gap while looking for a job. I don't want a perspective employer think that I'm lazy or that I don't want to work, and that I don't have experience. Ultimately, I really do have a strongly work ethic and want to work. I will always strive to be the best at what I do, even menial tasks. Like I say, it's not that I'm bored, but I want to have a sense of accomplishment, and taking care of a three bedroom apartment and two cats doesn't exactly cut it for me. I want something more out of life. I want to be a success.

Some of this may come from the fact that I just celebrated my 24th birthday. While I don't feel old by any means, I feel like I don't have much to show for myself. There is a second factor that made me realize this. Chris and I made a quick shopping trip at Nordstrom Rack. I barely even wanted to shop because I didn't want to spend money, but I hated that I didn't want to shop because I LOVE shopping. (I'll save what I bought because I'm going to try and follow through with my post idea for "Confessions of a Shopaholic" which I promise to get to soon.)So, I want to earn money, my own money. While Chris is willing to give me money, I don't want to take it for shoes and clothes, or my own hobbies. I feel like I have to answer to him and it takes away my independence. He's nonchalant about it, but I'm insistent that I want to take care of myself in some way.

So that's where I've been. Working away on writing cover letters and adjusting my resume. Applying, applying, and applying, trying to find somewhere that while hire me, and let's face it, something I won't hate at the same time. I'll post again soon. Thanks for sticking with me.

Times Flies When....

Time just seems to be getting away from me. Late Tuesday night I made it back from the wonderful trip to Disneyland. We had tons of fun and took it kind of easy for once, so that was great. The weather was amazing and I definitely soaked up some much needed rays. I even celebrated my birthday while in the park even though it isn't until the 23rd, but considering I will probably just hang out at home on the actually day, I think it's okay. I missed celebrating Valentine's Day with my honey, but we celebrated early. My mom, sister, and I made a girls' day out of Valentine's Day, even having a fancy lunch with some princesses. (Corny I know, but fun none-the-less.) The one complaint I have is that the lines were much longer than I had expected them to be in February, even if it was a holiday weekend. We missed out on a couple things with the limited time, but still experienced the magic!

(One more tiny complaint: Weekends there is a firework show at night, and the park pretty much shuts down an hour before it starts, during, and even about thirty minutes after the display. I don't mind just sitting and watching, but because the whole park is basically forced to stand and watch (no sitting, except if you can find a bench that someone hasn't parked their butt on for hours in anticipation) there is nowhere to go. I was forced into the only open spot of pavement until the show began. Unfortunately, the reason it was open was due to the fact that there was a nice, large pile of vomit next to it. But I waited it out until the crew came and cleaned it up, and miraculously it was disinfected and smelling acceptable just as the show began.) Thought you might enjoy that little story, because for any of you that know me, you know, these are the things that can only happen to me.

Anyway, I wanted to be sure to post today because I'm off again! That's right, I've basically spent only one weekend at the apartment since moving in. I have a million plans, but none of them involve being here. Guess that's what happens when your only friends in the city you live in are your fiance and your two cats. (Still love it here though!) I'm heading back to my parents house tomorrow, to catch the Bon Jovi concert with my mom, sister, and family friend. This won't be my first Bon Jovi concert, but it will be the first one not in the absolutely last row in the place. I'm also hoping it will be the first one that doesn't involve the sweaty lady from the seat next to me grinding on my in her leather pants. Cross your fingers for me! (I'm telling you, these things can only happen to me.) I don't yet know if I'm staying until Saturday or Sunday, but I do know that I have a lot of junk stored up in my old room, so I promise myself that I will take some time to de-clutter more.

Speaking of de-cluttering, that goal is actually going along well. Chris and I recently spent some time in the garage and I organized and purged another nice chunk of things. I'm happy with the progress, but I know there is still a lot more work to be done! Keep on chuckin'! (Get it? It's late, forgive my stupid humor.)

Finding a job has not been going well. I can't find anything that sounds appealing, but that hasn't stopped me from applying. I haven't received a single call back. Guess I'll have to try a different approach with my cover letters. I know I should really get out there and start networking more, but I just haven't pushed myself to do it yet. Must just be fear or rejection holding me back. And if I'm really being 100% honest here, I have been a little lazy. I've been hoping for some fantastic opportunity that just comes up. That's what I've always lucked into before. I've been secretly hoping it would happen serendipitously just one more time. I think it's time to just get out and there and network.

Wedding planning is going well. We have our menu finalized and it sounds delicious. Our caterer has been so amazing to work with and I think everyone will be really happy with the choices. We've got three fancy passed hor dourves in addition to the salmon and chicken, added to some pasta salad, regular salad, an array of fresh fruit. This blurb does it no justice. My old college roommate, a graphic designer, is designing the invitations. I need to get in touch with her again, to show her some samples of what I like. (If anyone has any good suggestions for invitations, please feel free to comment.) We have a great photographer and I hear she can work wonders with Photoshop. I'm hoping she can put my head on someone else's body or at least slim me down the 70 pounds I'm hoping to shed! Only joking. I've only lost about 5 pounds total since I moved into the new place, but at least it's a start. The wedding is now 6 months away, so I better get into gear.

Although, I am proud to announce that I am under 200 pounds. Unfortunately, I'm not that proud to announce that because I have just admitted that I was over 200 pounds, but what they heck, most of us are on a weight-loss journey and completely understand. I'm going to convince myself that you're not judging; you understand that the extra weight doesn't come from sitting on the couch, eating bon-bons, and not doing much else. You know, it's there despite the limited calorie intake, the lack of carbs, the extra walks up the stairs, the hours on the elliptical, the weight-loss shakes and the starving, the pilates and the endless treadmill. You name, I've tried it all, as I'm telling myself you have, too. Sometimes we lose, sometimes we gain, but it's a never-ending struggle. While I keep saying I'd like to lose 70 pounds, the reality is, I haven't weighed that little since elementary school (I developed early). So while losing 70 pounds would put me at my dream weight, I'm thinking more realistically. By the wedding, I would love to lose 30 more pounds. It's a big goal, but attainable in six months. That's only a total of 5 pounds lost a month. I know it's easy said than done, but I really am working on "life style changes". (Yes, that's a residual quote from my Weight Watcher's days.) I'm working on being confident and happy at any weight, but I need to be healthy, too. I just don't have much energy, and that's what I really want to get back.

Enough about all that, let's get to the good stuff. Shopping! As I said, my shopping has been on somewhat of a lockdown due to my lack of job and rapidly depleting savings account. I have an idea for a weekly post: Confessions of a Shopaholic. At the end of every week (or possibly two at this point in time) I will summarize what I bought a la Becky Bloomwood in the book, Confessions of a Shopaholic. (One of my favorites.) It's entertaining, but also a good way to keep track of what I'm actually spending, because sometimes, you don't even realize what you've spent with all the little things here and there. Let me know what you guys think, if that's something worth reading to you! I will tell you that just today, I "accidentally" purchased three pairs of shoes from GoJane.com. You see, you had to spend $50 to get the free shipping and the shoes are all so cheap that it took three pairs to get to $50. Do you think Chris will believe that the Shoe Fairy came for my birthday?

Good for Me

It's a good thing I factored in Monday as a recovery day when I was setting my goal timelines. I was totally sick; yuck! I'm feeling fine today, so I guess it's back to work.

Let me just quickly mention: Kathy Griffin is my hero. Her show was absolutely amazing; upon leaving the venue, my stomach was sore from laughing so hard for so long. I wish I could be funny like that; her show was just so witty and clever. And I probably appreciated it more than most as I have never missed an episode of the reality shows that she has based a chuck of her material around: The Real Housewives, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Hoarders, and of course her own, My Life on the D List. It was just too good for words.

Sunday morning, my dad brought me a variety of McDonald's breakfasts. No, I wasn't supposed to choose which type I wanted; I was supposed to eat them all. That's great for my weight loss goal. He gets offended if I don't eat everything and he sits and watches me eat, so I can't even pretend! I stuffed way too much food down, but managed to leave a few breakfast sandwiches in the bag. Did I mention that upon my arrival on Friday, my sister greeted me with my favorite Dairy Queen treat? Yes, the yummy layer of fudge and peanuts topped with ice cream, topped with more fudge and peanuts, layered with more ice cream, finished with another scoop of fudge and peanuts dessert. I could not resist and ate the entire thing! Do you see now why I said my family sabotages my goals?

Sunday I made it home minutes before Chris' parents arrived. He had finished cleaning everything, so the place looked great. I on the other hand was a mess, un-showered with a ponytail, sweatshirt, and jeans. I was just going to have to stay that way though, because there was no time. I really like Chris' family, and it was a nice visit. His parents checked out the new apartment (which they loved) and just chatted for awhile before treating us to a great lunch. They even brought us a housewarming present: a rice cooker (which I will have to learn how to use).

You should be proud to know that Chris and I, did in fact, send out our save-the-dates last night. We just used TheKnot to create a spreadsheet of our guests, uploaded it, and used the email save-the-date option. The email is really cute and the design matches the website we created. It was so easy I should have done it a long time ago. We already have people responding, it's great. I highly recommend it. (Don't worry, paper invitations will still follow.)

I have a lead on the job-front, which I plan to check out later today. I followed one lead this weekend, but it ultimately ended up that I would need to get my real estate license, and by the time all was said and done, it would be cheaper for me to not work.

Remember the skin care goal? Yeah, that one kind of feel off already. In my defense though, my skin was actually acting up with all the attention I was paying to it. I was breaking out and the routine, even with all the moisturizer, was drying out my skin so much, that a wrinkle actually starting appearing on my forehead. Now that I stopped, by skin is looking better and the wrinkle has pretty much disappeared. So don't follow that routine...even if it was in a magazine.

This weekend, I found SITS (The Secret is the Sauce) which is a support site for bloggers. It's great and I've already found new blogs to follow and even got a few new followers myself. It inspired me to do more with my blog, so I'm working on that now, too. Thanks to everyone who took the time to visit my page. Hopefully, once I find my voice a little more, I can be a little more entertaining!

My Life Not Even on the D-List

Today, I slept in late and went out to a nice lunch where I ordered a lemonade with a little kick in it, to kick off the weekend.

I made a quick trip to the fabric store where I bought an industrial strength needle and thread to repair a hole in the couch. Chris bought the couches from Craigslist before we moved in together and I was never much of a fan. The couches are nice enough (originally from Macy's Furniture Gallery) but they don't seem to hold up well. They are huge and overstuffed and no matter how I sit on them, my feet never seem to be able to touch the ground. Lounging on them isn't much more comfortable because the cushions start to smother you all on their own. And they've always smelled a little like dog; we don't even have a dog.

The rest of the day we clean the apartment like tornadoes in preparation for his parents' Sunday arrival. Things are really starting to look good and we got a much amount of stuff put away. I started running out of steam though, so I hope nobody looks in my closet. It actually looks like a tornado hit in there!

The reason we cleaned so much today is because I won't be around for a few days, so if I don't blog, it's not just because I'm being lazy. My mom, sister, and I are going to see the loveable Kathy Griffin in Seattle on Saturday. I'm heading up to my parents' house tonight so we can all go together tomorrow. Then I have to hightail it early in the morning on Sunday, to get back to our place before Chris' parents do.

I am giving myself Monday as a recovery day, so hopefully by Tuesday, I'll move forward with my goals, and hopefully while I am gone, I don't fall off the bandwagon!

Where Did All This Stuff Come From?

For the last three days all Chris and I did was unpack. I realize we have been unpacking for almost two weeks now, but I attribute this to the fact that I am, indeed, a shopaholic. As I previously mentioned, before I started blogging publicly, I was privately blogging as a therapeutic release. Part of that self-therapy was trying to get myself out from under the clutter I was living in at my parents’ house. As I have also mentioned before, I am convinced I have an acute case of hoarding. Recently I learned that hoarding is a type of OCD and associated with it, many times, is compulsive shopping. Also, it can be genetic. Note: I have not been evaluated by a professional and so this is all self-diagnosis. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I’m hurting anything by acknowledging that I may have a problem. (Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.)

So, as I was saying, my goal at my parents’ house was: Get Out from Under That Clutter. One quick fix was to move into a bigger space. Another was to leave a large amount of items at my parents’ house, where I know it won’t be tossed. But that is really not fixing the problem, it’s masking it. Eventually it will catch up with me again and I don’t think I can afford to move into a bigger place. My parents won’t want my stuff around forever either.

Moving into this nice, new place has made me realize how great it feels when things are clean and organized. I don’t want to clutter it up and feel like I’m being suffocated by my possessions like I did at my parents’ house. Because it’s still January, I feel like I can get away with adding another New Year’s resolution. I will downsize the amount of unnecessary junk I hold onto and make sure not to get buried under clutter. Here are a few steps I have been using while working on it thus far:

• Ask myself, “Why are you keeping that?” and being honest with myself about the real reason
• Commit to cleaning up and clearing out, not getting lazy about it
• When in doubt, throw it out
• Keep the memory, maybe a picture, but toss the item
• I must throw away or donate at least one item a day
• If I’m feeling ambitious, I can throw away or donate a little more but that doesn’t count towards the future
• Reward myself, within reason, by keeping one thing out of the bunch, getting a new treat to replace something, or just taking a long break and watching a girly movie, or blogging
• Don’t let other people clutter my life, for example, don’t worry about getting rid of something because it was a gift

So that’s it for right now. I’m working on getting my life and house a little more uncluttered. And I have to say, I’ve been doing pretty well for me. I’m parting with things that before I would never have. I’m shopping much less (but that’s another blog in the making). Chris’ parents are coming on Sunday. We still have a lot to unpack before they come, but I think it’s good. I work better with a deadline. I’ll let you know how the visit with the future in-laws goes. I’m not too worried, but then again, that’s when bad things happen.

I Like to Move It, Move It

Not so much. Moving is not so fun. There are a lot of reasons why moving isn’t fun, but here is how it went down…

I moved from my parents’ house, the house that I lived in since I was born. My mom is a borderline hoarder. (Don’t ever let her know that I admitted that to the world, but it’s true.) That means that pretty much everything I have ever owned is still in that house, and if I try to get rid of it, she usually interrupts me and says, “Aw, you’re going to get rid of that?” Thus, I have pretty much everything since I was born in that house, not to mention all the furniture and other things I accumulated in the four years I was away at school. All that added up to the process of packing becoming too overwhelming, so I gave up and left a bunch of stuff there. I’m heading back Monday to start to make heads and tails of it all.

As if packing wasn’t bad enough, there is the actual process of loading everything into the truck. My dad, bless his heart, wanted to help, but due to back injuries, can hardly even walk. He stood in the way, moved one thing at a time, and most of all, aggravated me. He also spent the whole time commenting on how half of the moving truck was full of my shoes. Yes, Dad. Anyone who knows me knows I have a large collection of shoes. It is not my fault, as I said, I’m a shopaholic. (Oh no, I just used the word “collection” to describe my belongings. I’m afraid my own hoarding tendencies are starting to show through. It’s genetic you know!)

Anyway, my fiancé and I loaded up the truck and my SUV and drove the two hours to get to the new place. It was getting late and we still needed to return the truck, so we decided to do a quick unload and leave everything in the garage for the time being. That was Saturday, January 9th. It’s Wednesday, January 13th and most of it is still there.

I did bring up a few boxes from the garage. I started with kitchen gear, and after putting hours of working into it, the kitchen is really starting to come along. The bedroom is pretty complete; it just needs a little artwork or something. The walk-in closet is almost empty as my clothes are almost all still in the garage. (Chris, that’s my fiancé, gave me the entire walk-in because it’s not all that big and, being a shopaholic, I have a lot of clothes.) The second bedroom is almost entirely empty and the office has become a catch all for junk. The dining room/built-in desk area have turned out great. (That’s where I’m working right now. The living room is a disaster, but while look a lot better after we get all the boxes and garbage out. (I plan to post pictures soon, after I find where I packed my camera!)

Finally, I'm happy to report that everything has been great living with Chris (and the two kitties) so far. He's being patient with my slow moving in style and I'm pitching in by making dinner for him so it's ready when he gets home from work. I love the new place; the set-up is great and so are all the amenities. We have even taken advantage of the communal hot tub and workout room. Moving may suck, but it was all worth it!

FYI…I plan to start posting more often, now that I have my computer up and going. I expect the next post will be about my weight loss goals, as that’s the next step. Since I’m still in the process of moving, expect updates on that as well. And as for the exciting part, we are meeting with the caterer on Saturday, so wedding planning is in full swing. Job hunting is on hold at the moment…I’ve got too much going on right now!