Thursday, January 20, 2011

Lazy Is Such An Ugly Word

I do not like the word lazy. I feel like lazy is such an ugly word; it is a four letter word after all. I really don't like the fact that lately, I could describe myself as lazy. Recently, it seems that nothing motivates me enough to get anything done or things are just too overwhelming to even begin.

My intentions are always good. The problem may be that my ideas are just too big. I don't know where to begin. Writing has always been a release for me, so I decided to try my hand at really writing, like novel writing. From short stories, to even shorter blog posts, I'm obviously going in the wrong direction. Maybe novel writing is biting off more than I can chew at this point, especially with my newly found lazy demeanor. On the other hand, maybe it's the perfect thing to make me wake up and smell the coffee.

Considering I can barely get off the couch long enough to do the dishes some days, I doubt a novel will start magically flowing from my fingers. Realizing this, lazy strikes again and I don't even know where to begin. Instead, my attention turns to the TV and I find myself in the same spot on the couch for hours, sometimes unblinking.

I can roughly pinpoint when I caught lazy. Shortly after I quit my job and re-located to be with my then-fiance, I found myself getting less and less done. Also, I was sleeping a ton! It didn't take long to make our apartment cozy and homey so I quickly ran out of things to do. While I was job searching in the beginning, it was only a half-hearted attempt. It wasn't long until I was on a full-fledged mission to find a job though. Any job would do just to inject some structure into my life.

I began working a part-time retail job which wasn't so great, but I enjoyed actually having to be somewhere a few times a week. When I wasn't working, I knew that I had to use my time off wisely to get things done. Lazy was fading fast. Not to toot my own horn, but I would say I have an outstanding work ethic. My employers noticed this too, and eventually I was working four or five days a week. While I enjoyed the extra income and store discount, it didn't make up for the erratic schedule and, at times, hostile work environment. Lazy began flaring up again.

With the hours I was working, I again lacked structure and though I spent lots of time working, I spent little time getting anything else done. That's when my mom's accident and cancer diagnosis came in.

I was no longer working and spending almost every waking second with her. At that point, I wasn't getting anything done, but I was just focused on being with my mom. Eventually, things progressed with my mom's health and I began to regain a sense of normalcy in my life.

Currently, my life still lacks structure though and I think that's a huge culprit of the lazy. Tuesday through Thursday I stay with my with mom, and spend most of my time taking her to appointments and running errands. Friday, I make the two and a half hour drive back home to be with my new husband. I stay there through Monday until it's time to make the long drive back to be with my mom again. I'm so exhausted by the time I get to either place, it's like pulling teeth trying to get myself to do simple household chores. Whether it's cooking, cleaning, or grocery shopping, it all seems as daunting as writing that novel.

So I have to ask; what motivates you? What do you do when you're feeling overwhelmed? Where do I begin?

What happens now that TheShoppingGirl can count everything she shopped for in the last two months on one hand? *Gasp*

Thank you to nuttakit for the provided image.


Melanie said...

Look at you, blogging up a storm! Two posts in one week?! Your are certainly beating me in posting more frequently...

Aah, LAZY... Sadly, I am very familiar with that word and it is definitely a losing battle that I fight every day.

middle child said...

Good thing you aren't writing this to me personally. I am always tired (or call me lazy if you wish). What motivates me? That word does not compute. I would however, see someone about the shopping issue. You will not be able to sustain yourself if you keep "under-shopping"!